Ever felt like you walked a long, long way just to end up at the beginning? Going round and round in circles and just getting nowhere? That's how I'm feeling. Life this year has opened my eyes so much. Just one blink and the world has changed again. But I'm still in the same place. I'm still here.
It takes a lot of courage to pursue something or someone. And I must say even with my confidence and humour with friends and family, I am not the same when I set my mind to a certain someone.
But once I step up and see the entire view... I feel like backing down and attempt to look for a new path. As soon as I can see a glimpse of what the future might look like, I run... I never want to know. I want to live in the moment. But I can't help but think about things I shouldn't be thinking about...
My mind overflows with potential outcomes and processes and I just wipe it clean and then start all over again...
my mind is blank
i've got no aim
i don't understand
i don't have pain
i don't have directions
knowledge of where to go
no set destination
no path, no road
i'm a blank slate
i've no expectations
i've nothing to await
truly without motivation
all that i've known
are now cleared away
mind and body, all alone
'living' day by day
turning left and right
just to end up here
aiming for a light
that isn't even clear
what am i to do
what will be better
what am i to choose
what are my choices
unsure, uncertain
unlikely to pull through
a chance of a million
that i won't fail you
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