potential to fail

So, easier said than done. I'm not able to just forget something because its too hard and confusing to let it exist in my mind. Though there are a lot of things I don't want to think about, now and in the past, this has got to be one of the toughest cases.

I like to day-dream, dream in that little space of time between hopping into bed and falling asleep, and of course the usual sleep-dreams because they are unpredictably amazing. I think of all the 'what ifs'... What if I hadn't done this or what if that person had done that... What if my assumptions are true... What if the 'advice' I get to my liking are true? What if... this false hope, is more true than I thought...

I love getting advice that comes in my favour, but I try to avoid getting my hopes up. I hate being let down, especially by false hope that I feed myself. I've decided from the beginning, that despite all the frustration what exists now is too special for me to risk over a potential outcome... One that to me, that looks less and less likely as I think of it. 

I do believe, when two people are attracted to each other, there is a certain vibe between them. That is what makes it obvious between each other about their feelings... And when I can't sense it from the other person, I know they don't feel the same way. But through the encouragement of the lovely people around me and my own curiosity, I would bring it out in the open, and I tend to be unfortunately right.

This time however, it's not as clear. I think I do feel a vibe but because I don't want to get my hopes up and just frustration in general, I can't think or see straight. This time, it's just different...

whatever comes of this

i know was so from the start

that whatever that exists

was something from the heart

that look and vibe

from the first time we talked

those laughs and smiles

we shared as we walked

the short amount of time

that was able to build a friendship

one i'll always keep in mind

as so imperfectly perfect

if only i could genuinely feel

like the way you probably do

just forget the unreal

the way i feel towards you

the feelings i still hope

that you might reciprocate

that i'm not just a dope

denying the reality of fate

there's always room for you in my life

regardless what is to come

i trust in my heart and sight

you could very well be the one